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When I read through the ultimate draft of my autobiography, I decided to remove several anecdotes about my own life, simply because they seemed a sort of indulgence, and didn't increase what I needed to say about my life and my career. These were hiccups along the way with some attacks worse than others, but all were finally "got rid" (as my cousin Lillian used to say). I put them in a file that i called BASTARDS for my own amusement, and thought no more about them until my book came out and I had been asked what my next writing project would be. For want of other things to say I would reply Bastards, and the response was so positive that what had started as a whim started out to defend myself against substance. So here it is. Because you ask (and you will) the bastards were all my own. Some were short, as are some of the tales, plus some tall, which, regardless of your incredulity, none of the tales are. Well, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I couldn't make them up! Could I?