Download You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation AudioBook Free
Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times bestseller YOU MERELY Don’t Understand revolutionized communication between people. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what's potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women’s lives: the mother-daughter relationship.
It was Tannen who first showed us that women and men speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language–but nonetheless often misunderstand one another, as they struggle to find the appropriate balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters desire to be seen for who they are, but have a tendency to start to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other’s power and underestimates her own.
Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique the other person on the top Three–hair, clothes, and weight–while desiring approval and understanding? And just why do they scrutinize the other person for reflections of themselves?
Deborah Tannen answers these and a great many other questions as she explains why a remark that might be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a female throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand one another, the key to improving their relationship.
With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tangled up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen’s humor as they see themselves on every page and end up with real expect wearing down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, You’re Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the main relationships in our lives.
“Tannen analyzes and decodes scores of conversations between moms and daughters. These exchanges are so real they can make you squirm as you relive the last fraught conversation you had with your own mother or daughter. But Tannen doesn't just explain the pitfalls of the mother-daughter relationship, she also provides guidance for changing the conversations (or just how that we feel about the conversations) before they degenerate into what Tannen calls a mutually aggravating spiral, a "self-perpetuating cycle of escalating responses that become provocations." – The SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA Chronicle
From the Hardcover edition.
