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The glad tidings are Jennifer Traig does not have lupus, multiple sclerosis, Huntingtons disease, Crohns disease, or muscular dystrophy. She discovers that she does not have SUDS, the mystical disorder that remarks healthy young Asian men in their sleep, nor does she have Foreign Accent Symptoms, the bizarre but real neurological condition that transforms native Western world Virginians into Eliza Doolittle right away. What she has is hypochondria.