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A Chat with Kathy Griffin:
Q: Talk about your name and occupation.
KG: My name is Kathy Griffin, and I am a teller of d**k jokes. And a plumber.
Q: This is your first publication. Had you ever considered writing anything before? A book? Or maybe a work of historical scholarship? Or maybe a children's tale?
KG: I had not considered it, because I'd always been informed by the nuns at St. Bernadine's that my cursive was poor. A children' s tale is an interesting idea. How's this for a title: "Waterboarding Pre-Teens: The Debate is Back On." I've a political side as well.
Q: You seem to be fairly enthusiastic about Oprah. Is this something you'll ever outgrow?
KG: I'll never outgrow my obsession with Oprah. Just like she will never outgrow her cardigan sweaters. Oops, she already has. Now look, that sounds like a dig, but it isn't. It's called challenging, and I'm on it with her. I support her. (Not as much as she needs those underwire bras to aid her, because she's got some serious ropes and pulleys heading on there.) The main point is, I worship her, and dread her at the same time. And believe me, that' s how she wishes it. Avoid being fooled.
Q: Performed I miss something? Where's Celine Dion in this publication?
KG: I didn't reveal Celine Dion, only because of my concern with her spouse Rene Angelil. I've an unfounded but frequent dread that he could maintain the French-Canadian mafia. Or have French-Canadian mafia ties, and by ties I don't indicate les cravats. And I dread that I may be abducted, whisked away and presented prisoner at a captivating little brasserie in Montreal, forced to eat multiple Croque Monsieur sandwiches until I confess to knowing the lyrics to every one of her melodies.
Q: What do you consider gays should take away from scanning this book?
KG: I believe the gays should be happy with this publication. It talks a whole lot about being who you are, and I certainly refer to a whole lot of homosexual people. I'd say it definitely has strong homosexual topics, and the homosexual community should know that frankly it's been a moral have difficulties for me to even recognize the heterosexual community in this publication in any way. But I am slowly trying an olive branch to the heterosexual community, even though I really believe everything they actually goes against the teachings in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. But I'm attempting not to assess them.
Q: Describe your ideal, make-a-wish day of personal experiences with bats**t celebrities.
KG: Well, it would start with some kind of a fit in the hair-and-makeup trailer on a set in place. I heard a story that when Sharon Natural stone was focusing on "Casino," she experienced such a battle with her hairdresser, that after he spent four hours doing this beautiful bouffant hairdo for her, she got up and strolled in the kitchen sink and put her head underwater. I've no idea in the event that's true, but I hope it is, cause that's some brilliant s**t I'd like to see. Then it would go to lunch, where I could see an eating disorder. Maybe a Lohan is purging in a bush someplace with her finger down her neck. Or simply there's an Olsen twin over a size crying because she finally tipped 100. Any outburst over weight I would cherish. Also, it would be great to see an celebrity have a workload meltdown. So maybe at 2:00 some A-lister declaring, "I cannot handle this s**t any more." Because I really like when celebrities can't package with a normal workday, and they think two in the evening is like midnight, so I would like to see an individual storming to their car, tired because they've devote a grueling four-hour workday of declaring three lines and texting their nanny. Then it's maybe off with an illicit affair. Near the top of my wish list would be carrying out a rapper or a football player to his baby mama's house in which a screaming match ensues to the point where someone, maybe me, must anonymously dial 911, and then I take a couple pictures, and I become an unannounced celebrity see later at the trial, joining Joan Collins-style in a smashing head wear. And then by the end of the day it's a wholesome circular of clubbing with Janice Dickinson, and then on the way home we go to the Beverly Glen pharmacy and come across Paula Abdul. All three of us secretly take our small white-paper pharmacy carriers and put them behind our backs and make unpleasant small discussion.
Official Book Golf club Selection is Kathy Griffin unplugged, uncensored, and unafraid to dish in what really happens on the road, from the cameras, and at the star get together after the show. (It's also her big chance to score that coveted publication team endorsement she's always wished. Will you be there, Oprah? It's me, Kathy.)
Kathy Griffin has won Emmys for her reality show Kathy Griffin: MY ENTIRE LIFE on the D-List, been nominated for a Grammy, did the trick and strolled every red carpet known to man, and rung in the brand new Season with Anderson Cooper. But the legions of supporters who load up Kathy's sold-out comedy shows have listened to only part of her remarkable tale. Writing with her brand wit, the feisty comic settles a few old scores, celebrates the friends and mentors who helped her claw her way to the top, and shares insider gossip about super star behavior–the good, the bad, and the very unappealing. She recounts the crazy fluctuations of her own career and presents us to some of the supertalented people she experienced before they got famous (or, in some cases, after fame went to their heads). Term to the wise: If you have ever crossed Kathy Griffin at some point in your life, check the index for your name.
Along just how, Kathy reveals romantic information regarding her life before and after she made the big style. She starts up about from growing up with a dysfunctional family in suburban Illinois to bombing as a comedian in L.A., from her well-publicized plastic surgery disasters to her highly publicized divorce, and much more. Only in this publication will you learn how the dinner table is the foremost training surface for a career in stand-up, how speaking your brain can bite you on the ass and buy you a residence, and which people in Kathy's life have educated her the most valuable lessons–both outside and inside the entertainment industry. And as though all the wasn't enough, there are also dozens of exclusive and somewhat embarrassing photos from Kathy's own collection–presenting the diva of the D List herself, with her old nose area as well as her new one, plus super star friends, foes, frenemies, and hangers-on that you can gawk at.
Refreshingly candid, unflinchingly honest, and filled with entertaining "Did she really say that?" moments, Official Book Golf club Selection will make you have fun until you cry, or perhaps puke up a bit.
From the Hardcover release.
