Download You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story AudioBook Free
In this hilarious and ultimately moving memoir, comedians and real-life committed few Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn verify that in relationship, all you have to is love—and a wholesome medication dosage of complaining, codependence, and pinot noir.
After thirteen years to be committed, Annabelle and Jeff have found “We’re just not that into us.” Instead of giving up, they’ve kept their relationship mutually by ignoring standard wisdom and fostering a lack of intimacy, by using parenting as a competitive sport, and by dropping out of lovers remedy. The he-said/she-said chronicle of their intense but loving relationship includes an unsentimental consideration of the medical odyssey that their family embarked upon after their toddler son was identified as having VACTERL, a very rare series of birth flaws. Annabelle and Jeff’s unforgivingly uncooked, uproariously funny history will strike both laughter and terror in the hearts of most couples (not forgetting every single man or woman who is contemplating the connubial point out).
Portion up equal parts sincerity and cynicism, You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up is a laugh-out-loud must-read for everyone who may have come to understand that being “in love” can only get you so far.
On Cohabitation
He says: “Within days of Annabelle’s appearance, I became very aware that she demanded solitude and got the housekeeping practices of an feral pet.”
She says: “The dude had some sort of nudity radar. When I would take my clothes off for a good second, Jeff would be in entry of me cheering as though he’d scored box seating at Fenway Area.”
On Making love
He says: “I want to have sexual intercourse every day, but Annabelle only desires to do it once a week. So we compromise: we have sex once a week.”
She says: “Jeff says discussing money before you have sexual intercourse is a turnoff, but it’s only a turnoff if you’re discussing not having money. Talking about money before you have sexual intercourse when you have money is actually a turn-on.”
On Being pregnant
He says: “For God’s sake, all I wanted to do was have sexual intercourse with out a condom for a time; now we were occasions from bringing a new life in to the world!”
She says: “My ass was widening so fast it was just like a Starbucks franchise. On every spot of my ass there is a new branch of ass checking.”
From the Hardcover model.
