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"Are you there, Satan? It's me, Madison," declares the whip-tongued 13-year-old narrator of Damned, Chuck Palahniuk's subversive new work of fiction. The daughter of an narcissistic film star and a billionaire, Madison is deserted at her Swiss boarding school over Christmas, while her parents are off touting their new projects and adopting more orphans. She dies over the holiday of a marijuana overdose-and the next matter she recognizes, she's in Hell. Madison stocks her cell with a motley crew of young sinners that is nearly too good to be true: a cheerleader, a jock, a nerd, and a punk rocker, united by destiny to create the six-feet-under version of everyone's favorite detention movie. Madison and her pals trek across the Dandruff Desert and climb the treacherous Pile of Toenail Clippings to confront Satan in his citadel. All the popcorn balls and wax lips that provide as the currency of Hell won't buy them off. This is the afterlife as only Chuck Palahniuk could imagine it: a twisted inferno where The British Patient works on endless repeat, roaming demons devour sinners limb by limb, and the damned interrupt your supper from their sweltering call centre to hardsell you Hell. He makes eternal torment, well, simply divine.
