Download Promises, Promises: A Romp with Plenty of Dykes, a Unicorn, an Ogre, an Oracle, a Quest, a Princess, and True Love with a Happily Ever After AudioBook Free
A chatting pearl earring. A gleaming white unicorn. A rose from an ogre. Sandy Blunt, a witch, has big dreams but C-average magic skills. Her only noteworthy skill is made for paying extravagant compliments to women. Trouble is, when she uses that surprise, she unwittingly foretells the near future for a pretty princess. And, the punishment for prophesying about one of royal blood is death... By using ill-assorted companions - including a self-proclaimed princess in disguise, a self-absorbed member of the royal shield, and the not-so-average young lady next door - Sandy has per year and a day to travel to far-flung places, collecting the odd and magical items had a need to change her prophecies into guarantees and evade the executioner. On the way, she encounters such dangerous animals as a dragon who creates terrible poetry, slovenly elves, and boarding house landladies.
