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In this gripping and wide-ranging article, Nadelson deals with his grief after the premature death of the close friend, in conjunction with the joy associated the beginning of his first child. Everything he now does - from looking after his girl to wandering the roadways of his run-down community in Oregon - begins to feel like a betrayal. Nadelson looks over his life, considering his run-in with a Soho cab drivers, a school Halloween party spent with his useless friend, and his favorite Chekhov story, "Grief". During the period of the article, Nadelson tries to comprehend why he is falling apart and what he is able to do to put himself back alongside one another.Ploughshares, the literary mag of Emerson College.