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Dear Mr Scowl, I am writing you a notice because... well, actually because I have a ban on looking to get too close to Jazzy D, or Jason Devaney, as I'd call him - once we sort of went to school together in Jersey. So while I understand it would oftimes be easier to come and find you, I think your security men would probably not let me in. (It's all an extremely big mix-up, which I'll tell you about when you come to acquire your goods). So, I'm not into Facespace and Tweeting and all of that stuff (because I'm sure you have secretaries going through all those things and responding to for you) to give you some very important information. If you're lacking a certain pop-star... I mean, if the business lead performer of a certain extremely popular band has gone missing... No, I mean, I know you should have kept it out of the papers so as not to upset the legions of Jazzy D followers and Divvies the world over, but I happen to know where he's. The truth is, Mr Scowl, I'm not quite sure how it came into being, and especially how he managed to turn up within my mum/sweetheart/partner/companion/associate/fiancé's house, but he does, and I've experienced to deal with the fall-out. So right now, Stephen, your child idol is residing in my shed. Cat Andrews' life is falling apart. The chemical type reactions of the mind are all going wrong - between her friend, Gorgeous Dolores, the new guy with the divinely attractive top lip, and the lady with head of hair wings (i.e., her). Her mum's acquired a fresh Man and the brand new Man has a princess she's expected to can get on with. And together with all that, for some reason a pop legend she can't abide appears to have adopted her. It's going to take more than a couple of letters to sort it all out, but luckily Cat Andrews is not your average young lady, and she's more than up to the duty of training some fanmail.
